slaughterhouse five.

iwillmarrylishang:

maliciousmallory:

1. Gain a strong sense of ironic and sarcastic humor. When asked a question, refuse to answer directly, and instead answer with an obvious lie. For example, while in a movie theater, something cool just happened onscreen: “oh my god, that was so cool. Did you see that?” “Mo, I paid 8 dollars to come here and stare at the ceiling.”
2. If you are into any mainstream music at the current time (ex:Flo Rida, Rihanna, Akon, Britney Spears, Taylor Swift, etc.) throw it all away.
3. Now that you know that listening to (and enjoying) mainstream music is the worst thing you can do to yourself as a hipster, you can go on to independent music which is what all real hipsters listen to. The artists and groups are endless. One good way to decipher whether or not an artist is Hipster, is for you to like them, and for your non-Hipster friends to have never heard of them.
4. Namedrop often. Talk about all the obscure bands you like that nobody you know has heard of. When your friends talk about a band you’re unfamiliar with, just say you’ve heard of them but not actually heard them. Look them up the next time you have a chance to. It’ll give you more cred.
5. Insult a lot of bands. If you love everything you’ll seem like a fanatic. Make sure to give off a vibe that you are too cool and elite for a lot of bands.
6. Remember to use perhaps the most important hipster line: “I liked them before they were cool.” In addition, if you would like to seem more educated and elite there is the key phrase ” I liked their first EP, but pretty much after that I never got into them.”
7. Get the right style. Fashion is just about as important as your music taste is. Generally, people assume hipsters to shop in thrift stores in attempt to looking vintage. This is really not the case to being a true hipster. The classic skinny jean is essential to looking hip, although guy hipsters actually wear skinny jeans more than the girls. Hipsters love ironic eyewear such as oversized plastic framed glasses, Buddy Holly glasses, nerd glasses, and for the ones who can afford it authentic Ray Ban Wayfarers of all the colors of the rainbow. Some of the hipsters wear eyeglasses even though they have 20/20 vision! Now tops aren’t as big of an ordeal as pants are. Ironic tees, plaid shirts, berets, large flower headbands, neon nail polish, bird necklaces, gingham, plaid, checkered, vintage floral cardigan sweaters, fit hoodies, patterned and colorful leggings are all part of the hipster phenomena, especially when they layer/wear them all together without matching exactly.
8. Eat the right food. Start growing your own food, and compost if possible. If you have absolutely no space to do this, go to a natural foods market instead. Many hipsters tend to be vegetarian or vegan. Eating meat isn’t exactly popular with the hipster culture, but it is still allowed. Fruit, coffee, oriental food, etc are all hip foods. Technically, they are all a bunch of foodies and love making gourmet meals. You can’t really go wrong with lunch from Whole Foods.
9. Don’t dance too much. It takes a brave hipster to start dancing. In fact, if you want to spot a hipster, just turn around the next time you are at a show and see them standing in the back discussing Stella or PBR in a can. Sometimes, if the music and setting is right, you will witness Hipsters engaging in dance movements. Hipster dancing, if done right, does not use so much of the hips as it does the upper body and arms. Lots of swinging your head back and forth. Remember to only do this if you are not humiliated easy. Although you will rarely see hipsters dancing at shows, they tend to enjoy separate dance parties where they can dance to an array of more upbeat hipster dance music.
10. Female hipsters love to use Tumblr, Blogspot or Wordpress taking photos with their Holga cameras of cross-processed and “dreamy-like” pictures of themselves in a field, by the ocean, in forests, in their hipster rooms. Usually it is to express their desire for beautiful and soft vintage things that is reflected in their photography. A lot of them have pictures of their feet for some odd reason. If you know of a hipster girl that knows the terms “re-blog” or “follow me on blogspot” then that’s definitely one of the indicators of a female hipster. Male hipsters also enjoy these things, but on a lesser scale.
11. Denial. Hipsters will never call themselves hipsters. On the contrary, they tend to deny their “hipster-ness” at each possible turn. In addition, they will make a point of chastising other people for being hipsters. Denial is one of the most important roles of a hipster.

oh goodness … these hipster posts are interesting. prepare to be spammed with more junk. 

GUESS WHO IM REBLOGGING THIS FOR? (hey astrally(:))